Timmy's Tidbits

Triathlon as a team sport is a bit of an oxymoron. However silicone swim caps for the top 3 teams meant all bets were off and the surge of testosterone spiked amongst the athletes. And with that, we were grouped into teams of 3, unclear on how you actually win. In fact im still not clear. But, it was game on.

Then we saw the swim buoys. Ok, new game? Backgammon perhaps? Sudden focus and steely resolve, devolved into what triathletes do best. Whinge about the length of the swim. I am as guilty as this as anyone. However our life saving crew planned on testing their life saving skills it seems, because the buoys were nearing South Africa. Darryl Harris, internally, did a thumbs up emoji. Fortunately Triathlon Jesus, aka ‘Daws’, got on the walkie to the life saving mob to cool their jets, and drag the buoys back to a more suitable position.

Ok, steely resolve back. After getting dumped and bashed around a bit trying to get to the start buoy, the swim didn’t seem too bad. Perhaps a bit long? (I did warn you). A couple of superfish didn’t bother with wetsuits. Smart asses. Joel ‘Harris’ Keeble seems to have lost none of his swim speed. Obviously he hasn’t explored booze and women in his youth just yet and has done some sort of training. Susan el Prez has been swimming well and I actually think she swims better without a wetsuit. One of those natural type of swimmers. I better mention that Karyss got out of the water right next to Russell Harris, otherwise she will text me, daring me to sleep with the light off. Yes yes K-cups, you swim like a mermaid on the gear.

On to the bikes, And Reece just said bye. Bye Reece. If you could not lap the field, that would be great. Elyse aka the Tourminator, fresh off of swapping tri suits with Dan 2.0, put the head down and buried her competitors. My fellow teammate, Mr ‘all aboard the Shew Shew train’ had a good bike leg. Proudly sponsored by Reynolds wheels, I cant wait to see him rock his suit with all his other sponsors. I cant wait to see who else he has lined up. And if they are aware? Stevie Ware keeps defying his age and producing some tasty results on the bikes too. Philbo Hayes is on some sort of cycling training program that must include eating shredded chamois for breakfast because that man has found another gear.

It was good to see Shazza Ford back in the mix for her first tri race since rolling the dice with Mark McGowan and his border closures and venturing past our state. Hayley Ferris also gained some much needed time on the bike to a bit of separation coming into the run. Hayley loves running. I told her she looked so great on the run that Id date her. Im all about pumping others up you know? She giggled and ran faster to the finish line. She later told me she thought I said Id ‘do’ her….I think she was trying to run away from me.

On to that run with Jason Bosner doing Jason Bosner things and mowing down half the field for a quick finish. Our new comer, George Wong, told Dreamy Drew to hold his beer, and ran topless, sporting an impressive physique. Young Bailey Paton showed the field a clean pair of hills in what appears to be his best discipline, similar with Pieter Verster. Dan 2.0, looking chiselled in Elyse’s tri kit, ran well as is his sprint pace now days.

Erica Duffield kicked into run mode, really throwing down a good split in what is her biggest strength. She is one of the more graceful runners out there. Jennah, who couldn’t find a mention on Shewy’s list of sponsors on his incoming suit, ran well despite persistent foot problems. Regardless of trying to cut the course and turn a few cones early for her second run lap, Amanda ‘the panda’ Casey also ran strong to the finish line, trying to close that gap on Hayley, who by now, was probably packing up her car and getting as far away from me as possible.

However on the day, there could only be one team winner. And clearly I took the team on my ample shoulders, and carried Chris and Paul to the finish line, to a resounding orchestra of cheers and fireworks, first place secured, new swim caps in hand. Well that’s my story, and I’m sticking to it.